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Friday, December 2, 2016

The Best 21 Christmas Gifts For Everyone on your List

Me: I've been so good this year, Santa!
Santa: Let's talk about that thing in October.
Me: Okay, maybe other than that...

Pour a glass of wine, grab a handful of sugar cookies, fire up your browser, and get ready to blaze through this year’s shopping list (without draining your bank account). From the tiniest cherub to the geeziest geezer, here’s what all the people in your life didn’t know they wanted for Christmas:

BOOMERS & BEYOND

Poo-Pourri ($9.99)


At only $9.99 it does double doody as both an actual and a gag gift.


“They just don’t make ‘em like they used to.” Give your elders hours of entertainment with this collection of old-time musicals like Calendar Girl, Doll Face, and Paradise in Harlem. Okay, I’ve never heard of any of those, but that’s clearly because I’m too young to appreciate fine theater.

Fingertipless Gloves ($10.00 and up, depending on fiber)

Circulation and self-heating are to the older set what online dating and job searches are to Millennials: “Dear God, will this ever get better?!?” Give the grandparents the gift of warmth in a handy glove that still lets them dial their Tracfones to ask you to come over and fix the computer.

THE 40’s

Quadcopter Drone ($54.99) with built-in camera

Because, just, why wouldn’t you?






Is buying organic and brewing homemade Kombucha not quite crunchy enough for someone on your list? Give them a grow-your-own Psychedelic Salad, Forbidden Fruit, or Cocktail Garden kit.

Favorite Child Mug ($10.00-$20.00)

This one only works if you have siblings, but it’s guaranteed to make for a lively morning under the Christmas tree.





30-SOMETHINGS


Cityscape Wall Art (Prices vary from $8.00 to +$100.00)

Check out Etsy’s collection of cityscapes and decorate your loved one’s wall with a skyline from one of their favorite places. Chic, urbane, and colorful, just like you.


Whether your giftee is a world traveler or just likes to take his/her entire bathroom to the gym, this Aidonger Travel Bag is perfect. With 4.5/5 stars and 197 reviews, it’s a favorite. (Maybe don’t give it to a spouse along with the words, “When are you leaving again?”)


Like a miniature sandbox for adults, it’s immediate stress-relief in a stylish black and stainless steel desk accessory. (You are not allowed to take it out of the box and play with it before you gift it.)

MILLENNIALS


Never let your Millennial get caught with low power again. Of course, that also means they can’t claim a dead battery when they want to hang up on a parent.




I mean, just look at it. You’ll have to put a tracer on it in case some jealous rain-walker steals it out of the lobby at work.


This one does a job, too. Every purchase from Trades of Hope helps lift a third-world woman and her family out of poverty. Gorgeous and good—no better Christmas present in the world.



TEENS

Money Maze ($9.90)

It’s money they have to work for: a gift and life lesson in one frustrating little package. Win!



Because sometimes you really want to electrocute your teenager. Here’s a fun and safe way to do it.




Great for travel, camping, or just to hang out in the bedroom, this is like a hammock for someone who’s too lazy to assemble a hammock, or for a parent who’s too cheap to buy a real chair.

KIDDOS

Laser Pegs Construction Kit ($10.00 to $60.00)

Like lighted Legos, these very cool kits are great for kids who don’t yet realize that they aren’t supposed to enjoy educational toys.


Ditto above on the educational part, this one is for the budding electrician or engineer. With real circuits, the kid can make a doorbell, lamp, flying saucer, and other geeky-cool projects. Heads-up, this may be used to create things that can zap and wound siblings.

Video Camera ($29.99)

For the aspiring Steven Spielberg, Francis Ford Coppola, or Kathryn Bigelow. Keep in mind that people who live with said producer-wannabe will eventually find themselves starring in unflattering videos on YouTube.


TODDLERS

Melissa & Doug Monster Plush Bowling Game ($15.33)

I kind of want this, and I’m fort—not a toddler.



These are the awesomest toys ever. When my kids were little I picked up a set of these in London, and couldn’t even find more of them in the U.S. Every child—and many an adult—who entered my home lingered long at the refrigerator to play with these. They are truly addictive.


Same thing on the Fridge Phonics. They teach the alphabet and entertain for a crazy long time. The average toddler’s attention span is roughly 7.3 seconds. This one keeps them busy for like, 120.



BABIES

Nothing. Seriously, buy them nothing. Just enjoy this last Christmas when they don’t even know to scam and grab for gifts. They’ll be greedy buggers by next year for sure.

Merry Christmas, and happy shopping from Wasting My Education!



1 comment:

  1. Love this list. I bought a bottle of Poo-Pourri, put it in my purse, it spilled and my purse was such that I could have pooped in it and no one would have known. ( =

    ReplyDelete