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Friday, February 10, 2017

What to Do on Valentine's Day When Love Stinks



I’m getting no love this year on V-Day, not because love stinks but because Hubs’ job does. He’ll be on travel on the annual Day of Love & Romance. So I offered to babysit for some friends who are in the middle of a major home renovation and haven’t been out alone together, sans chitlins, in far too long.
Yeah, I’m just sweet that way.
Unfortunately my friends’ schedule doesn’t accommodate a date that night, so I’m getting no credit for being the saint that I am.
But it got me thinking about what else one who finds herself stag might do on the annual Day of Blissful Coupledom. Here are a few ideas.
Movie Night With the Kids (Yours, or Someone Else’s)
“Is this a kissing book?” Pop some corn, tear open a bag of pink and red M&Ms, and sit down to a showing of The Princess Bride. There’s something for everyone: …swordfighting, giants, true love, miracles, chases and escapes… “It doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll try and stay awake.”
Go to a Movie On Your Own
This isn’t as hideous as it might seem. Get yourself a big bucket of popcorn—which you don’t have to share—and a large box of Milk Duds—which you don’t have to share—and watch the movie you want to watch. Sitting in the back lets you sling kernels at people who are smooching during the movie, but sitting at the front prevents you seeing all those snoogly couples, if that’s going to give you the sniffles or hurl you into an abyss of despair.
Host a Girls’ Dinner Party (or a Boyfriend Bonfire)
Make this one as classy or crass as you and your girlfriends like. Everyone brings an appetizer and a bottle of wine? A side dish and a dessert? Memorabilia from ex-boyfriends and some kindling? For the first two parties the hostess just needs a few chairs and some places to set drinks. For the last one you’ll want to have it at whosever home has a fireplace. Or a cast-iron bathtub she doesn’t like.
Stay Home Alone and Tweak Your Dating Profile…
…OMG, NO. Seriously. Don’t even look at your dating apps on Valentine’s Day. Uninstall them if you must. You can get them back later. Make yourself a cup of hot chocolate, lace it with Bailey’s maybe, and grab a novel. Or binge-watch all six seasons of Downton Abbey. Or find a Youtube tutorial and finally learn to play that guitar you’ve had sitting in the corner for the last eight years.
Take a Bubble Bath
Light some candles, turn on some music, and fill your tub with happiness. Order some HanZa Bath Bombs. You can get these bad boys in 24 hours most places. “Rubber ducky, you’re the one. You make bath time lots of fun…”
Go on a Chocolate-Hunting Spree
Retailers clearance all their seasonal candy after holidays; many start slashing prices right on the day itself. Hit Target, CVS, the grocery store, etc., and clean up on candy. You’ll get first dibs on all the good stuff, while everyone who shows up the next day will find nothing but love-shaped red-hots and bags of broken conversation hearts.
Whatever you choose to do this Valentine’s Day, coupled or solo, just remember: it’s 24 hours. February 15 is just a few heartbeats away. If you didn’t have the evening you wanted to have this year, it’ll come around again in another 364 days. Therefore, I leave you with a poem:
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Valentine’s Day always kind of stinks,
unless it doesn’t for you this time. Then hey, knock yourself out, Love Machine.
(I’m not a very gifted poet.)
Happy V-Day.


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